Very few of us can effectively try out for a playgirl spread or be commissioned as the newest greatest underwear model. Some of us did better in school than others and some of us have a stronger sense of humor than most. Whatever it is that you have, be happy with it so that you can use it.

If you are perpetually focusing on the negative aspects of what you don't have, and wishing that you were somehow different create a generally unsatisfied feeling about yourself that isn't appealing to you or anyone else for that matter. But if you can learn to really be happy with and love what you were given, then you are open and free to use it to your most distinctive advantage.

Before you can really start attracting women with your moderate good looks and your charming personality you have to own that it is one of your most positive attributes. Feel free to use whatever format works best for you, but a lot of guys find it useful to make written proclamations regarding what they have and how happy they are with it. Writing it down gives you a chance to expand on the list at will. For so many of us, looking at ourselves in a positive light is such a new and unusual form of personal critique that we all get a little weird about it. We are supposed to condemn ourselves in order to succeed, right?

Change your perception about what women really want and what we want from women. Why start looking for a woman who can tolerate or get used to our negative qualities when we could easily find a host of women who want our positive qualities. By using our good over our not so good, and want over not wanting, we end up sending out a totally different signal which leads to a totally different experience with women.

If you asked a group of women to write out what they are looking for when it comes to finding a guy to date long term with marriage potential, their list would reflect wants. A woman is more apt to write down "gentle" rather than "doesn't hit when angry" unless she has expressly experienced an abusive relationship. By viewing the want instead of the not want, women often are the ones who discover us instead of the other way around.

The way we view the world is transposed by the way we are able to exhibit our positive and negative traits. We all tend to think because we don't do something as well as we would like or haven't been able to master a specific skill that we have negative attributes. It is just as honest and much more effective to accept those attributes and stop calling them negative. In fact, why not stop labeling them all together? We simply have attributes. We are smart and we have a small sense of humor. This is different from saying we are intelligent but lacking in sense of humor. Have we lied at all? No.

We have just adjusted our language in order to accurately portray ourselves as who we are in a totally positive light. Otherwise we may as well take out billboards that highlight our faults, since that is what we are essentially doing when we focus on them. When we accept ourselves as a work in progress with different levels of attributes, we not only feel better about who we are, but we attract a new type of woman with gusto. And she isn't going to be there to point out all of our less impressive attributes.