What do children really need besides food, shelter and protection? Have you ever wondered what your responsibility is to ensure that your child will grow up to be a contributing member of society?

As a mom, foster mom and grandmother as well as a family educator, I have learned a few things about what children really need. Surprise, it is not the latest toy or name brand clothing.

Following are a few notes that your child would tell you if he or she could. Relax, none of them cost anything but some time and attention.

1. Spend some time with me every day. The most wonderful present you can give me is your presence in my life. Laugh and play games with me. Take me to the park and push me on the swings.

Let me help with the chores. Read to me every day so that I will develop a love of learning. I want your attention.

2. Set appropriate boundaries and guidelines that will allow me the freedom to grow and develop but keep me safe and teach me right from wrong. Be consistent in your expectations so I know what my limits are.

Use natural and logical consequences for unacceptable behavior. I learn better when you tell me what you want instead of what you don\'t want.

3. Discipline, but don\'t punish me. What is the difference? Discipline is teaching and guiding. Punishment is a short-term measure and hurts my feelings. Hitting, yelling and spanking will only teach me to hit, yell and spank.

4. Respect me as a child of God, as well as your child. Listen to me without passing judgment. Talk to me without nagging or yelling. Hug me for no reason and value me for being just who I am. I will do the same for you.

5. Tell me you love me every day. You know you love me, but I don\'t know it unless you tell me in words and show me in actions that your love is unconditional. Remember there is a difference between what I do (deed) and me (doer) Tell me you are proud of my progress and accomplishments.

It seems pretty simple, doesn\'t it? I said simple, not easy. If you grew up in a negative environment, you may fall back into old patterns of behavior under stress. But, you don\'t have to parent that way. You have a choice.