Earth Hour. My hour in the dark really shed some light on things. While saving the planet doesn't usually turn me on, having my toys lined up like the Rockettes had me ready to go. Every single one of the toys in my house was laid out in an exceptionally organized manner.

Unfortunately, while working with a g-spot vibe, I tried to grab a Pocket Rocket and in my haste, the toys went sprawling on the floor. So I spent a good twenty minutes having fun to the sound of a vibrator buzzing on hardwood. Oh, and I know I said I was going to try the glow in the dark toys. I had a little kit of glow in the dark toys and I have to admit I got a little scared of putting something that looks nuclear in my hooha. So those toys stayed in the corner as mood lighting.

First, let's talk about the materials. I have always been a glass and silicone snob. Well, in the dark, jelly and silicone feel exactly alike. Sure, the silicone may be a little harder, but in the dark, when you're not shaking your toy at your lover (how often do you do that?), it's really all the same.

I'm going to stay a silicone snob because it makes me seem cooler, but just between you and me, I'm not gonna kick a jelly piece out of bed anymore. Sorry, jelly babe, come back to bed. It's all good.

The realistic materials don't feel different enough. All I had on hand was a CyberSkin piece. CyberSkin feels different than silicone and jelly at first. It has this really nice rub to it. When I stroke it, it feels like the real thing. The outside has just enough give to make it feel like skin moving. But lubed up, the feel is completely dependent on the toy. In the end, if it's not the real thing, it's not going to feel like the real thing in the dark. Unless I got a pair of hips or a back to hold onto, a piece will always feel like a toy and a man will feel like a man. I'm not a man, so I'm going to theorize a realistic stroker or female piece may actually feel different than jelly in the dark. I'll leave that up to the boys to decide.

With all that said, the winner was glass. I knew it when I touched it. It felt smooth like only glass feels. And it was cool at first (sometimes I put my glass in the fridge because I love the initial shock of cold). It was such a rush to feel it warm up to my own heat. Glass is almost as good as a lover because it is the only material that really reacts to your body. I'm still looking for the ultimate vibrating glass, but in truth, glass is the one material that doesn't need to buzz to satisfy.

Now to controllers. Oy! I had a tough time turning off my toys! No wonder I keep the lights on. Those multi-function vibrators are confusing even with the lights on. And one of my toys actually has four buttons. I just gave up. Couldn't even turn it on. I'd gladly read a users manual on those. The Lucid Dream #42 has my favorite controller in the light, but it was a pain to figure out in the dark. I found myself doing best with the old fashioned multi-speed knob. Righty-tighty, lefty-loosy.

That's all I had to remember. And my lipstick vibe was easy to turn on, but when I turned it off, I actually took it apart. I didn't break it, but it was a little disconcerting how easy it was to open. I have one toy that has a thumbroll controller at the bottom that reminds me of a blackberry wheel. It's more fun, though.

Overall, this was a fun little experiment. I may make a habit of it, you know, for the planet.